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Legacy of Abortion
Gosh, can you believe it's 2023 already? I'm still writing "22" on nearly everything. Seems like just yesterday I was sitting in first grade celebrating the century change. I know we haven't really chatted since Christmas. Sorry. Anyway, I have some difficult news and I really didn't want to call and talk face-to-face.
Ted's had a promotion, and I should be up for a hefty raise this year if I keep putting in those crazy hours. You know how I work at it. Yes, we're still struggling with the bills. Timmy's been "okay" at kindergarten, although he complains about going. But then, he wasn't happy about day care either, so what can I do?
He's been a real problem, Mom. He's a good kid, but quite honestly, he's an unfair burden at this time in our lives. Ted and I have talked this through and through and finally made a choice. Plenty of other families have made it and are much better off.
Our pastor is supportive and says hard decisions sometimes are necessary. The family is a "system" and the demands of one member shouldn't be allowed to ruin the whole. He told us to be prayerful, consider all the factors and do what is right to make the family work. He says that even though he probably wouldn't do it himself, the decision really is ours. He was kind enough to refer us to a children's clinic near here, so at least that part's easy.
I'm not an uncaring mother. I do feel sorry for the little guy. I think he overheard Ted and me talking about "it" the other night. I turned around and saw him standing at the bottom step in his pj's with the little bear you gave him under his arm and his eyes sort of welling up.
Mom, the way he looked at me just about broke my heart. But I honestly believe this is better for Timmy, too. It's not fair to force him to live in a family that can't give him the time and attention he deserves. And
PLEASE don't give me the kind of grief Grandma gave you over your abortions. It is the same thing, you know.
We've told him he's just going in for a vaccination. Anyway, they say the termination procedure is painless.
I guess it's just as well you haven't seen that much of him.
Love to Dad, Jane
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